tech idiot....and then some....

So with all my recent blogging and blog stalking I have come to terms that I am no longer internet savvy. OMFG!!

I look at blogs and I am amazed at how their backgrounds are or how they get links into their blogs. WOW. I know, I know, it takes time and I will pick it up in no time, but geez. I feel like a child of this techno age I should be running CSS codes like nothin. *Side note, I didn't even know what CSS was until...umm....yesterday when I officially started my blogs. Ya. True sad sad story.*

So if I ask super simple questions or I have mistakes and I don't know how to fix them, please don't harass the animal. :) I am still learning. I am excited to learn but please be patient and don't laugh. Well I guess you can, because I won't be able to see it. jk.

In other news...I am freaking out!!! Like I had to cry on my apartment floor, kick my feet and say "I did my best, I did my best" over and over again for at least 30 minutes. Why you may ask? Let me break it down for you...

Simply put I expect too much of myself and spread myself too thin. Pretty much I hit myself with a hammer and than bitch when I experience pain. WTF. No sense right? I work and party a little too much and just coast by in my classes, *NEWS FLASH: COLLEGE TAKES MORE EFFORT THAN HIGH SCHOOL* so I have to adjust my study habits which haven't been so easy. So, a few semesters ago I had to sign a contract with finanical aid that I wouldnt get below a C in any of my classes. Well, this semester I got an E in my math class. FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! But wait here is my excuse, we don't show work on our tests so if we get it wrong by a negative or not simpilfying MINUS 10!! WTF!! This was not something I expected and so on ALL of my tests, I missed the answer by a negative or not simplifying. FUCK!!! What a number that did for my self esteem.

So so so, my financial aid for spring semester will be denied. I can appeal this but my excuse "my math teacher didn't credit our steps/work on our tests, so I failed" doesn't seem like a plausible excuse. So I am having to pay for next semester myself. EK. So let's add another $1200 to my already difficult budget. I work FT and PT just to pay for my rent, car and booze. I need a financial advisor and stat. *another side note, I make $30K a year at job #1 so I should have money right? Nope, it's called IMPLUSE BUYING and POOR $$ MANAGEMENT people.*

I guess this is growing up bucko. Man, this shit sucks. So, I have some pretty difficult struggles ahead. I am an implusive buyer, so I waste money daily. I know this and I admit it, the first step right?

Oh boy. Stage 22 is being activated and I hope, no I pray that I can make it through.

ta ta...
ms. pink zebra


post script...
this always makes me feel better....