Here's how it started...
At work I had a meeting with my manager and she said I need to work on my attitude and not interupt people while they are talking. (I know this already). So I am thinking about this during class and wondering why I never changed that part of me.
After class I stopped by the resturant gig and grabbed my $35 check. Woo. $2.15/hr is the shit!! I ended up getting drinks with some of my coworkers and then we decided to go get stoned. Woo!!
This is where it gets good...
I am reading the Cosmo 2009 Astrology guide (I love this, it is always pretty accurate) and I come across these words...
Take The Dare - "Think before you speak to avoid those "I can't believe I just said that" moments you're so famous for.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! HOLY SHIT!! WOW!! JESUS!!! SERIOUSLY!! HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!!! OK BREATHE!!
Wow, when the Universe gives me guide it really smacks me hard. This happens to me a lot, sometimes big smacks and sometimes smaller smacks. And I always get warning signs when something bad it going to happen but I ignore them. This might sound crazy but I am psyhic. LOL. But really sometimes I creep myself out because I'll have a feeling and a few days later it will happen. Ok. That really sounds crazy.
Anyway...this is the Universe telling me I need to change. Change is coming. Obama is in office and change is really here.
I know this is why I am depressed, anixous, and all that and I have known that for awhile but I am afraid to change. I know I need to change but I am terrifed but I don't know why. I am still trying to figure that out.
I know I need to stop partying as much. I need to focus more on school. I need more intellecutal people. I need more working professionals in my group of friends. I need to become a classy woman. I need to change a few things clearly.
After some stoned online googling I found this quote....
"It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes."
Me: WOW!!! HOLY SHIT!! THATS FUCKIN PERFECT!!!
So this is offically day one of me changing. What I plan to do first is cut down my time with the boys to only 2/wk instead of 4/wk. Small, easy steps are what I need. And I will be cleaning my kitchen today and a different room of my apartment everyday.
Thats that and now I am off to change myself. Woo.
Maybe this whole living alone in your twenties-hitting rock bottom-learning about yourself-making your own decisions-dealing with the consequences thing isn't so bad.
Ta ta,
Ms. PZ
saggitarius?? because I sure am and that sounds exactly like me too!
ReplyDeleteI hate change. But every once in a while the universe surprises me by uprooting my secure life and FORCING me to go through changes. In the end though, I realize that those changes led me somewhere even BETTER then before.
I am SO copying your clean a different room everyday approach! Good idea girl!
I love the horoscopes! And yeah I have those moments to where you just know something is going to happen! Good luck on the new you :) Just do small steps at a time so you don't get burned out to quick!!
ReplyDeletePS love the blog!
<3 J. - Ya sags hate change. I am that point again, where I HAVE to change and I am just not ready. ek. I am kinda excited though to see what happens. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd the cleaning thing really works. You stay on top of chores and it's manageable.
E - Ya small steps are my key words. I tend to go head first and hit the ground running kind of person.
and thanks. :)
I have never read horoscopes, but now I'm thinking I should!
ReplyDelete